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Anyway at the time it seemed like decent possible company, better than none, and also a possible sexual outlet, better than my hand all the time.Anyway cut to the chase, we did go out for a while, things were OK, we could relate, talk,and had pretty good sex, though her smoking was an irritant, I could most often leave the room, or leave the house while she smell of smoke on her caused a slight gag reflex in me, but I tolerated it for a while.anyway, to get to the point: One night we were having sex, a few different positions it was all good , we both orgasmed a couple of timesthen after a bit of a rest period, I got her rolled onto her side & got behind her, in what I cal the "spoons" position (both on our sides, me behind her and entering her from behindwe got into a slow rhythm, sort of that slow, relaxed, sensual love-makingin a relaxed position, not too feverish -it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes, when she reached over to her bedside table & picked up a cigarette, & lighterand LIT UP while we were doing it- & smoked I could hardly believe it!
We ALL like to find blame with the other person for why a situation didn't work out. Depends on if she blew smoke out of the hole in her neck she just used to go down on me. (pun intended)I knew someone that used to grab a magazine in the middle of sex with her boyfriend, she felt she was obligated to have sex for the sake of the relationship but really wasn't into it so got bored pretty fast. If I broke up with someone for being a smoker, and I knew they were a smoker going into it, then I would simply be a hypocrite.Just sex and her smoking--(And the fact that she didn't go to your house--RED FLAG??? You must have been one boring piece of ass if she felt the need to lite up during..maybe she wasnt aware of you being "in" anymore. You don''t mention any emotional feelings or ties with one another, or likes or dislikes, or even anything you had in common with each other.) So the feeling I am getting here is that you only wanted just one thing and on thing to d with this gal, and you would do it--inspite of what to you is an annoying, sicening habit which according your words made you gag. Just sex and her smoking--(And the fact that she didn't go to your house--RED FLAG???We ALL like to find blame with the other person for why a situation didn't work out.The deal is that sometimes it's just not a good fit.I didn't like sleeping withe her after much, but she pretty much insisted on it, didn't want to have sex, then have me leave to go back home to my place. It was always at her house, I told her she was NEVER going to smoke in my house, so if she thought she had to have them, we better meet at her house, she was only in mine a few times for a little while, not overnight, she had/has a 14 year old daughter & didn't like to be away from home too muchslow, relaxed, sensual love-makingin a relaxed position, not too feverish -it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes, when she reached over to her bedside table & picked up a cigarette, & lighter I'm just guessing you didn't have her full attention.true, but she was enjoying the sex, not 'bored' per se, just wanted 'another ' pleasure at the same time I guess? Bottom line: actions speak louder than words; and what she did there spoke volumes. You may be a truly incredible and talented lover; but none of us can be "incredible" with everyone; we're all too different, with wide varying likes and dislikes; and you and she were obviously not a good sexual match.However, the smoking didn't "cause the breakup" it's the attitude behind it. I have no clue why she would do that, being that I am not a smoker. yup and for the record, when I smoked, I do recall one particularly lousy lay that went on way too long... Or I would go to online forums to get people to validate my decisions so I wouldn't feel so bad about being a hypocrite. I mean smoking is fine, and it's great to have a hobby, but if you can't last a few hours without one, you have more problems than you think. :facepalm:"I do recall one particularly lousy lay that went on way too long...Whether she ever lit up or not, you guys were not a good match.thanks, probably a good point, thought she did claim she really loved our sex and the screaming, moaning and multiple orgasms would seem to confirm it. From your story I suppose she realized she had succumbed in a weak moment, asked a man who she really didn't want, because she mistakenly thought he would be better than nothing, then when the sex turned out to be worse than nothing she lit up a cigarette but he still didn't take the hint. And...yes, I would be very insulted..grossed out, totally grossed out! Sorry if being nosy)Excuse me OP, but haven't you switched sexual preferences since last I checked... I reached over to the nightstand and deliberately lit up a smoke. So what if they KNEW I was basically disgusted by smoking? I don't think it's their job to change their life according to my comfort, tolerances, or preferences. I reached over to the nightstand and deliberately lit up a smoke."Oh, so you've met the OP? I have never encountered such behavior, nor would I smoke DURING sex. does "she" drink while dancing or eat breakfast on the john?To answer your question; I don't do smokers either; it's a filthy habit.However, the smoking didn't "cause the breakup" it's the attitude behind it.