Intellect and online dating devil dating tips
In fact, studies show that the more we talk substantively and the less we small talk, the happier we are in general.If you always get stuck in a rut of discussing schedules, work, and the weather, try to change the direction of the conversation with thought-provoking questions such as, “If money and time were no obstacle, what would you be doing right now?Even though your goals may be very different, they should be on the same scale.For example, if your significant other is pursuing a Ph. in history and can’t get his conversation out of the Middle Ages whereas you are just trying to finish the series, you might have a red flag.
Aside from being attracted to one another and sharing the same values, we wanted to know that we could daydream together and have shared pursuits.
According to Brittle, “Creating shared meaning is the top level of Dr.
John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House, a model for comprehensive relationship health.”When my husband and I were dating, we noticed that some of our best conversations came about when we were discussing a mutual intellectual interest—in our case, documentary movies.
To this day, we regularly sit down to watch a documentary and spend hours, sometimes days, talking and sharing ideas about it afterward.
After a long and tiring day at work, these conversations are a great (and needed) reminder of why I fell in love with my husband in the first place. If it’s reading, find a new series that you will read together.