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What began as her visiting me for the holidays ended up with her staying with me indefinitely. Tell her that it can't go on like this indefinitely—living in your apartment rent-free—as it's unfair to your roommate and that kind of support is too much to expect from someone she's been seeing for only four months.

She comes from a very poor family, and going back home means sleeping in her grandma's living room. Tell her you appreciate the ways she's kicking in now—helping with groceries—but eventually she'll need to start kicking in on rent too, and then set a realistic date for her to start paying rent.

And whenever this happens, your mind automatically turns to your key holder, even if they're not around." Ruffled Sheets blogs at ruffledsheets.com, where he reviews male chastity devices and other sex toys. My girlfriend of four months has unofficially moved in with me. I don't know what to do because I feel like I am housing a refugee.

We began as a long-distance thing; I live in New York City and she lived in the Deep South. On the other hand, I feel like she could be using me. She hasn't pitched in for rent—I also have a roommate—but she has pitched in for groceries. She's Here Indefinitely Now Instead of ending things now to protect yourself from retroactively feeling shitty about this relationship if it ends at some point in the future, SHIN, you should have a convo with your girlfriend about rent, reality, and roommates.

There are two other things Sheets wanted you to be aware of as you begin to explore male chastity, PAUSES.But if you meant it—if you're not capable of remaining in a submissive headspace for more than a few hours—you'll need to ask your partner, before the padlock clicks shut, just how long she intends to keep your cock locked up."Being locked also has another side effect that you wouldn't perhaps anticipate," Sheets added."Whenever you become turned on, you feel your cage or belt against your penis.It can be anything from a gentle reminder to a vice-like grip, depending on your arousal level.Do you or any of your contacts in the fetish world know of any devices that are inescapable?Piercing Appendage Unnecessarily Scares Eager Sub "I've never come across a standard male chastity device I couldn't pull out of," said Ruffled Sheets, "so PAUSES's partner has obviously researched regular chastity devices well." Sheets is an IT consultant who lives in the United Kingdom with his partner of 15 years.You should also encourage her to think about getting her own place.Not because you want to stop seeing her—you're loving it and loving her—but because a premature commitment (and cohabitating is a commitment) can sabotage a relationship."Lots of men are shy about being submissive," said Sheets, "so they'll say things like 'I'm normally dominant in real life,' kind of like PAUSES opened his letter by saying he isn't submissive 'around the clock.' I just wanted to make sure he understands that chastity is a long-term game.For most of us in chastity devices, it's a 24/7 affair—literally around the clock." If you said you weren't submissive around the clock because you didn't want to admit that you are, in fact, submissive around the clock, PAUSES, chastity play won't be a problem.

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