Emotional purity in dating internet dating cliches
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…”One of the main concepts taught by advocates of “emotional purity” is that if you get emotionally attached to someone and the relationship doesn’t work out, then you’ve given “pieces of your heart” to him.This contributes to a lot of unnecessary guilt in young people who are honestly seeking to honor God.Granted, in saying all of this, I’m not condoning the other extreme of completely baring your heart to whomever you’re courting. In our courtship and engagement, my husband and I went through several stages of reserve around each other.“’Everything is permissible’—but not everything is beneficial.‘Everything is permissible’—but not everything is constructive.” (1 Corinthians )Purity in a romantic relationship is a very beautiful thing.The idea definitely sounds good and the phrase has a nice ring. It has been equated with physical purity, something that many young Christians are striving very hard to have in their romantic relationships.But in real life – in the nitty-gritty of real relationships – is this even attainable? Short of a hard-core betrothal, where there is a binding marriage-like agreement between the man and the woman before they get to know each other (which carries its own risks), there , C. Lewis relates: “To love at all is to be vulnerable.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm ), “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)One of the problems with the teachings on emotional purity is that it equates “emotional purity” with physical purity.
Though these girls were all in different situations and were doing their best to go about their romantic relationships in a way that glorified God, there was a common theme: all of them felt guilty that they supposedly weren’t remaining “emotionally pure”.
The last fifteen or so years has brought back the practice of courtship into Christian circles and with that has come teaching on the idea of “emotional purity”.
But do we need to swing completely to the other side and condemn any kind of emotional connection? Each couple needs to evaluate their own relationship and decide if it’s bringing glory to God and putting the other person’s needs before their own.
For one couple, saying “I love you” or holding hands before a commitment may not be an issue, for another couple it may be.