Dating an exs friend
“The ex-boyfriend may feel betrayed by both his friend and his ex,” says Day.“Regardless of who did what and why, feelings like hurt, loss, sadness and anger may be stoked.” Make sure you’re willing to accept fall-out from your actions: Your ex may hate you, and his friend may ultimately resent you for “causing” the end of their friendship. Your new guy has probably already heard details of what went wrong or — shudder — what you two did together in intimate detail.Remember, this is a man who is friends with the guy who broke your heart. Get busy trying to find one who won’t serve as a constant reminder of your past.Keep in mind, an ex is not defined as some random guy you had a one-night stand with two years ago.Plus, you will feel always feel weird when you run into your ex at social functions with your new man, and both men will feel uncomfortable. Women are often guilty of sleeping with their ex’s friend in an attempt to make him jealous.
When movies show characters falling for their ex’s pal, it’s all about cute montages and perfect kisses, but in real life, prepare yourself for some problems. A., a marriage therapist in Los Angeles, recommends first considering how your new venture could affect others.No matter which way you slice it, dating your ex’s friend is going to create an awkward situation for all involved. Your new boyfriend will eventually want to know how he sizes up next to his friend, if you know what I mean.He will ask questions to try and figure out if he is a better lover, a better conversationalist or a better partner.If anything, this desperate attempt to win your ex back by throwing yourself onto his friend will only make him realize what he’s definitely not missing.Ideally, when you and your ex break up, you should get as far away from him — and his friends — as humanly possible.Of course, there is also the rare circumstance where you and your ex are still friends and each of you has moved beyond the pain of your breakup.If your ex is truly happy in another relationship and open to the idea of you dating his friend, you may have found a relationship loophole.If you feel OK with the knowledge that a potential boyfriend’s friend has already seen you naked, go for it.On the other hand, if you dated someone for a considerable period of time and his friend is hitting on you, don’t take the bait.Now, if you happen to have found yourself head-over -heels in love with your ex’s friend, and you are already carrying on a fling with him, there’s only one thing left to do.You must have your new boyfriend talk to your ex, man to man.