Dating a borderline personality
There’s a scene in How I Met Your Mother during Lily and Marshall’s break-up where Lily lets herself into his apartment and hides behind the couch, only to leap out when he tries to get close to another woman. But, as the heady world of BPD will teach you—it happens.
When dating, I spent most of my time fighting similarly reckless impulses, like the day after my (ex) boyfriend dumped me and I eyed my phone maniacally, dialing his number on a bi-minutely basis, thankfully never giving in to letting it ring, but certainly wasting time I should have been using to focus on my (as yet, six years later, un-handed-in) thesis.
If that sounds intractable, it’s because it really is. Or intense sensitivity to criticism, like when you don’t receive the mark you want for a university essay, so you accept a full-time job on the other side of the country, starting immediately. Here’s another fun game—try guessing how these situations go down when you’re dating.
After our affair flamed out, it took a number of years for me to even consider opening up again.
When I did, that partner bore witness to the opposite tendencies.
If you’re looking for a condition that blends anxiety, depression, OCD, disordered eating, anger issues, and more into the world’s least appealing smoothie, BPD is for you.
Having BPD is like living in a bubble floating in a hazy world of detachment.